One more ADHD, for the road.

The guy who has undiagnosed ADHD and takes a lot of drugs is similar to the dog that eats grass: in their mind they can feel that something is wrong and for some reason doing this activity makes them feel better, even if it makes them throw up on the carpet later.

I know people that take smoke pot or drink a beer to take the edge off. For the most part, these activities do not affect their personal relationships or their jobs, it's a way to relax at the end of the day that's not TV, or reading, or cooking. I know people who do or have done hallucinogenics as a way to connect with a higher power or unlock new parts of the mind. That wasn't me.

I smoked pot because I had a tendency to focus too much on a thought, and this caused me problems. I drank because it was a legal alternative. Sometimes when I mixed these drugs together with exercise, I could unlock amazing powers of focus that allowed me to do fun creative things. Most of the time though, I had a bit going through my system and couldn't decide if I was drunk, high or tripping. A problem with ADHD can be an inability to misread people, this problem is not helped by mixing of xanax and alcohol.

To quote this article:

Adults living with undiagnosed ADHD may engage in addictive behavior simply because they are medicating the primary diagnosis, which may be inaccurate. If they receive a proper diagnosis and proper treatment, they will be less likely to turn to drugs or alcohol and less likely to succumb to addiction.

Many articles I read that are not in medical journals have their hearts in the right place, meaning that it worrisome that so many people are diagnosed with ADHD, and it's treated with medication, and their are people who are smart enough to scam doctors for meds. These articles set me off when they either misunderstand the problem, or they have agenda in mind and misquote people. Symptoms of ADHD don't go away when adults quite their jobs and become entrepreneurs, in fact entrepreneurs tend to have ADHD because hyperactivity or hyper-focus is a huge asset.

Some people tend to work at night. Night work is awesome, actually, because the people in charge don't want to be up at night and therefore you are allowed to be wild, crazy, creative, and work at your own pace. ADHD, like any skill set really, thrives in an enviroment when it can use it like a tool and are allowed to work at their own pace and speed. This is frustrating to everyone else in the world, though.

My natural state is to keep as many projects going as I can, and adopt an organization system called "piles of stuff." To the outside observer, this looks like what is known as "being unorganized" or "being unfocused". I get to say something here that I wanted to say for a long time: "I'm sorry your pedestrian brain cannot see the link between all the stuff I am doing." I have a tendency to get bored very easily, and boredom doesn't lead to laying on the couch saying "I'm SO bored!" it leads to stuff like learning how to build a bomb. Or teaching my friends how to build a mortar. Or stealing my roommates clothes as ammunition for said mortar. All in all, unchecked boredom leads to problems for society. Using that tendency to keep a hundred projects open at once is awesome, though: I can learn about biology, math, computers, and Russian then come up with ways to connect them to make my life easier.

This is horribly frustrating at times. When I was in high school, I took AP classes because regular classes felt easy, but I also worked my ass off to be a starter in football, I needed a job for money, and girls existed, too. Most of my friends just choose 1 or 2 things, I tried to all of them. I got depressed when I couldn't be the super star and wondered what was wrong with me. Recently, this has become trying to hold a job, write this blog, involve myself in the science stuff in Philadelphia, and try and run a math group thing. It sucks that one or more things require my brain power and energy and I feel like I can't focus on the things I want to focus on. Traditionally, frustration also leads me to do stuff like punch bosses. Ah, the wonderful world of energy and impulsive behavior.

Recently, I get my projects under control. Usually it happens when I get rid of the project or person who drains my time, energy, and motivation and offers nothing in return. I know the worst offender, I just haven't figured out what to do about it yet.