Sunday, October 18, 2020

Flaws and balance

Newton was a punk ass-bitch. In my mind, I like to start blog posts with something explosive and aggressive, and I woke up thinking that Tesla and Newton got it wrong. Nietzsche was wrong. A person can only depend on themselves if they are an ubermench, perhaps, but the problem is we are all humans. To be human is to be flawed.

 Anger, fear, frustration, lust too, desire and the rest are human emotions. We can force ourselves not to feel these things, but we miss out on an aspect of humanity, a dirty, disgusting side that is easier to hide away in the dark, away from our eyes. Never bring yourself to anger, lest you become something more. Fuck that. When you are angry, ask your self why. The anger did not make me break, destroy, and harm. A world of mixed messages, illusions, and powers beyond my understanding bombards me everyday, leaving me wondering how to act, or in times how to react. Emotions overtake us and lead our thinking when we don't ask why. In the narratives we like to tell, we fear anger because of the destruction. Anger is motivation, either a motivation to destroy or to propel us into action.

The grand of emotion of love have driven men mad, and brought the powerful Cleopatra down. Love is destructive, but we celebrate it, get caught up in it's excitement, and feel it's warmth travel through our body, protecting us like a blanket from a world that makes no sense. Anger makes the face hot, and causes speech to stutter. Love makes us blush and causes us to stammer on like a fool without a plan. "Love" didn't destroy Troy, just the base desires of sex, lust, and passion that are tied to it.

We all are human, and to be human is to feel anger rising from the deepest pits of ourselves. It is to feel surrounded by the warmth of feelings from those around us. We all have stood on the edge and seen the emptyness of it all, and have felt a sense of hopelessness. Feeling that we are less of a person for feeling something that is critical to the human experience is keeping something from ourselves. The wisdom of ancients points out that we cannot stop ourselves from eating, breathing, or drinking without serious physical problems, and ignoring why we feel the way we do leaves an empty, confused feeling. We feel emotion, but we don't look to the cause, and sometimes we make an ass out of u and me about where the feeling is coming from.

Our reactions to the emotions we feel is what makes us self aware. We think, therefore we can choose our reaction. In the madness of the boil of this stew we find ourselves in, it's our only true choice. The choice can set us up for the next choice, but we have no control over the hand dealt to us.

To be human is to be weak. Achilles used to be a great warrior, until he took an arrow to the ankle. The stories of man falling to the temptation of the flesh is an ancient tale and as mentioned before, it took the great Cleopatra down too. The wild passions of teenage love exists as a cautionary tale in Shakespeare, and there has to be something in the old testament about someone shacking up with a hooker and loosing sight of what is truly important. To be self aware is to recognize our flaws and our failings, and not to fight them. They might be the motivation to create something more and powerful, or they will pass and are nothing to dwell on.

Issac Newton and Tesla were punks that didn't understand how to incorporate another person into their lives, and claimed they were stronger without a relationship. And Tesla fought to be recognized in his own time. Another person supplements us, giving us the strength in areas where we are weak. Another person brings empathy, patience, cleanliness, and calm. In a world where things change so quickly, where people and situations flash before us like the fevered nightmares of the dying, popping in and out of focus with no context, another person is lighthouse to focus on, clarity to bring us out of the darkness. A Penelope for Odysseus to work towards, and hopefully a ying to our yang.

If you are in my life, chances are good you pocess a skill I feel I lack. Am I a sociopath? People are my friends, and I feel empathy and hurt for them, but they are there in my life because they are better at something. In most working relationships, it's organization. Or empathy, or patience, or dance. People come from a world apart from me, so I can become confused when I see the similarities, but the differences compliment me. Does that make sense?

Action question: How do you connect with others? In a working or romantic relationship, what are the skills that make up you, and you bring to a group.

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