October is for Insecure people.

We used to have a saying in NEK. "I'm not poor, I just have no money."
I was gonna put something together that was optimistic and positive today. And I started thinking about it, and I worked it over in my mind, and then I thought of something. Why I am so god-damn happy this fall?
True, I have days,weeks even, where I bitch and complain because I get frustrated over a computer that I'm building, or I'm bored at work, or I'm trying to meet some girl and things fall apart. But I'm not depressed, upset, or even a little sad. And for every good thing that I tell myself happened this summer, something really bad happend.
My health is great and I am in great shape. I ride my bike 12 miles a day, every day, and am starting to become fairly flexible. Of course, the reason why I ride my bike everywhere is because I was in a three car accident back in. . . June, I think? Maybe end of May? Anyway, car was totaled.
My French and my Russian is getting better. I've had time to hang out at home and chat with people around the world and practice new languages and learn new skills. And I'm eating healthy as well! I had a little garden where I grew some food. Not everything came out well, the potatoes were planted too late and died. Again though, because I had no insurance on my car, and it wasn't registered, I've extra time at home because all the money I make goes to the accident. And eating healthy is cheaper than eating pizza and drinking beer all the time.
My body and mind couldn't be better at this moment in time. Everyday I feel myself growing stronger mentally and physically. When I look at the future, holy crap I can't wait. Math conferences, biology talks, Thanksgiving, Christmas, chances to travel, and the list keeps going on. But to say this summer was crap, well, technically I would be right. My laptop gave me trouble all summer, and finally died on me a couple weeks ago. (I'm typing this on my break at work.) I have had so much more time to read now though, so I finally get to read all the books that have been piling up.
Well, ever have a day where reality suddenly dawns on you? It's not gonna stop me from being awesome, and interesting though. It's really just my excuse why all the things I wanted to get done didn't. Fuck it, though. Shit happens, and the stuff that I really, really want to get done, will get done.
How was your summer? Has life been good to you, or do you simply forget the bad stuff too? Ohhh! Who is doing NaNoWriMo? I'm excited for that and have been putting together my research and stuff for the Non-fiction version of the event.

Damn constraits, we have to break them.

Do we ever stop looking at the future to see possibilities? What is frustrating in this world to me is there doesn't seem to be enough time to fully explore the world around me.
The mathematical models of the world of enzymes and hormone transport systems call to me. I can see a future where florescent chemicals show me the place of penetration and nutrient transfer occur between absucular mychorriazal fungus and the roots of corn. The mysteries of evolutionary theory is worthy of a place in any thriller to me. Plato's world of ideas created by the math of Euclid is a world worth exploring.
I want to spend time in nature, contemplating the structure of the world around me. Time spent in the physical world with real things is time well spent. Theory only describes a poem as lovely as a tree, and cannot replace the smells and sounds of nature.
Mastery of one skill seems to ignore all other skills. The wonders of biology is supported by the foundations of physics. And what about the skills needed to live? The ability to cook, to farm, and to feed oneself? How about the ability to be able to build and to fix? Why is life so large with so many paths?
Why can't I be an expert at everything damnit? I want to be a master lover, thinker, craftsman and artist. If time didn't exist, then I would do it all.

Stupid papers I have to read for work.

I hate you so much right now biochem. You were cute at first with your words that made you sound so smart and brilliant, but these papers I have to read run into the same damn problem every bad writer does; you aren't saying anything. These papers make the same damn conclusions over and over again. It's what we get for creating a system that values length over subject. Really, why is it a material and methods from 2013 is 5 pages longer than a one paragraph materials and methods from 1973? It's doesn't say anything amazing. Instead of just referencing the paper it cites, these damn things seem to write out the whole damn paper!
And oh my god! Auxin transport inhibitors inhibit plant hormone transportation? Really? I could have figured that out on my own, I don't need 20 fucking sentences rewording of the same sentence!
Math is interesting. Sats, contradictory to my thoughts 4 years ago, is an stimulating part of math that can be useful at times. Adding percentages and graphs that mean nothing does not help a god awful excuse for a paper. And really, you're part Chemistry! Its contributions to math are well noted! Your dependence on graphs and stats show your upbringing by biology and it's fear of math.
A discussion section is for discussion! How the project was done was covered in material methods! Stop bringing it up in the discussion section!
Honestly, this is part of the reason smart people don't get the respect they think they deserve: They are long winded, boring blowhards, too busy being wrapped up in something they think is success while ignoring the world around them. Biochem, these papers you and agro-biochem are making is that boring washed-up blowhard. Stop being so insecure that your teacher won't give you an "A", shorten your paper by 12 pages, and actually get to the fucking point. Better yet, stop repeating your point. It's the same thing, even if you put a hat on it. Or another percentage, whatever.
In conclusion, your paper stumbles around like a nervous virgin, returning to its same move that is ineffectual.

ISWG ramble

Why, hello there.
It's time for the thoughts that keep us awake at night to come to surface. Enough time for them to peak out at the sun, then I can push them back for another month, where they stew and help form some of the more interesting parts of my personality. And it is hosted by some of the finest people in the blogging world.
StumbleUpon keeps showing me websites about success. A few weeks ago, I had a three day vacation that gave me time to stop and reflect on the summer. It certainly was an interesting one. I miss the interesting summers that involved being chased by cows and crazy acts of testosterone. This one had it's fair share, and now it's time for the harvest season. Being a farmer was important to who I am, so I still think of things in respect to farming.
Right about this time, we had worked our asses and hoped the weather favored us for 5 months and we could finally see things paying off. We were rewarded for our efforts with tons of food and then could sell that or eat it. Also right about this time, I would have a great body from months of exercise and sunshine with a little extra money in my pocket. Again, I had the fore-mentioned insecurities pushed back in my mind that would make enjoying this time strange and sometimes dark, but that's a different story.
Anyways, what I'm trying to say is, to hell with success. For the first time in 5 years, people look at me and say, "Why, that boy is doing well by MY standards."  I reaping a ton of rewards from a summer of hard work and slight adventure. You know what is truly frightening and scary though? The idea of living a life that society deems worthy, but feeling empty and mentally exhausted while asking yourself at all times, "But what AM I doing?"
How do you define success for yourself? When you write books, or even set goals for yourself, how do you know you did well at the end of the day? I don't want to be dark here. Personally, I know I am doing well if I am having fun and trying something different and new. The person who I am changes over time, and I can see sides of my personality form and develop, and I can bring them out when the situation calls for it. I change the environment, and adapt, and watch as pieces slowly change like the path of a river after a heavy storm. When you define success for yourself, and you can honestly say that you are using the best of yourself, then it's reflected in your personality. Hell, sometimes some people are strong enough to reflect in the people around them. Others notice. When others begin to notice though, then what? Is it good, bad, other?
Just go out and enjoy the harvest season. The hard work pays off, and it's something to enjoy.

What I'm doing this month.

So I'm supposed to being reading and posting Einstein's papers this month, but I didn't do the necessary preparations before hand. He wrote a lot of papers in German, is what I'm finding out at the moment. I'm trying to find something in english at the moment that would be a good place to start. If I can't find anything in time, then I'll just post some notes I've been taking on the book I'm reading at the moment, "Darwin on Trial". See you later tonight, imaginary friends.

HEY! LOOK HERE!

Lancaster, CA - A4620928 (right), a 3 month old male brindle chunky APBT Mix who came in as a stray 8/18. Avail. 8/22, KENNEL MATE is A4620929, a 3 month old APBT mix. Please call the shelter at 661.940.4191 RIGHT AWAY if you are interested in adopting any of the dogs I post. This shelter is a publicly funded County shelter with a high rate of 'strays' and 'owner turn ins' and therefore considered "high kill". if you are interested in any dogs I have listed, I urge you to immediately get in touch with the shelter for their adoption procedure. I have seen it too many times where dog's have lost their lives because someone waited just ONE day too long... When you are networking, tagging, etc. please know that rescue "Pages" do not get notifications when you 'line-tag' them (highlighting the page's name in a 'comment'). If you want a page to see a dog in need, you must post the link to the dog's thread (highlight/copy what is in your browser) ONTO their actual page or 'tag' them in the actual photo! Only 'people' (non-pages) you line-tag will get notified, providing they have this feature not turned "OFF".
Adoption fees at this shelter are $120 or less. There is a $20 license fee which only applies if you are a local resident. All fees include vaccines, micro chip and spay/neuter. Unaltered dogs are released after their spay/neuter, unless they get a waiver due to age or health.
The Lancaster, CA shelter is located at
5210 W. Ave. I
Lancaster, CA 93536
(661) 940-4191
Hours:
Monday – Thursday: 12:00 PM – 7:00 PM
Friday, Saturday, and Sunday: 10:00 AM – 5:00 PM
Closed Holidays

Directions:
Take the 14 Freeway and exit at Ave. I,
Go 3 miles West to shelter.

NOTE: I am not a rescue, I spread the word about animals in danger at the Lancaster CA shelter which has a very high kill rate compared to other shelters! I don't collect pledges or PM the people who pledged. The person or rescue who saved the animal is responsible for collecting the pledges. I will post a PayPal address or donation information if provided. If you are willing to adopt or have questions on a dog I post, please call the shelter. I have not met ALL dogs I post personally and I can not always call the shelter on every dog to get updates. When I post "no longer listed" this means a dog was either adopted, rescued OR killed. DO NOT DOWNLOAD MY PHOTOS WITHOUT MY PERMISSION! PLEASE "SHARE" THEM ON FACEBOOK ONLY. ANYTHING ELSE YOU WISH TO USE MY PHOTOS FOR: PLEASE BE COURTEOUS AND ASK MY PERMISSION SO I CAN DECIDE IF I AM CONTENT WITH WHAT MY PHOTOS ARE BEING USED FOR. THANKS!

Sharpening the edge of a knife

And now your 25!
When you were 18 you were all hormones and no freedom. You were let out into the world to tear up the world with a lode of dumb ideas. And now you are 25.
Still full of hormones screaming at you to fuck shit up, but with the added benefit of the Ghosts of Dumb ideas past hovering over your shoulder. He's a prick, always there to remind me what I should and shouldn't do. Not like my parents when I was 18 who could only warn me in words. This bastard can just show me pictures and hi-res video.
"What's that?" He asks, "Want to stay out till 3 drinking, smoking, and hitting on women?" Causally, he triggers a thought. A memory of me with a headache telling my boss she's a bitch.
Oh, yeah, right.
"Hey," I tell him. "Imma gonna consume massive amounts of stuff because I'm stressing the fuck out."
In a voice that's almost a whisper he says: "Nateva".
"B-b-but, look at my friends! They go for drinks! On Wednesday!"
"That guy there has more money then you will ever see in three lifetimes. That guy has the body of Apollo and calls himself an artist because he has a job that lets him sleep till 12pm and goes to work whenever."
Most of the time, ignoring him is easy. As Robin Williams once said, "God gave man a brain and a penis, but only enough blood to power one at a time."
My advice: Stay blissfully ignorant of the poets, the artists and the philosophers. Thoreau is the reason why you are hungry and broke in a tent in the woods, Burroughs is the reason why your drunk in a small apartment trying to make it with sketchy women, and Hesse wrote the words that justify your life.
Better yet, no harm has come out of Browning or Tennyson. Rowling, Lovecraft and Tolkien give people harmless fantasy escape. It gives the mind to think, relax, and dream about wholesome activities and magic.
C.P. Snow? That dude is dangerous, making the world think science and art should be one and that ethics should a concern for science. You'll find yourself making videos on youtube about math using tinkertoys before long, when you should be contributing to the machine of society. You will be calling for the creation of affordable solar panels for the third world.
What happens to young trouble makers, the youth that stopped around and demanded change? Mandela is dying, Johnny Rotten is a dick, Bono is an arrogant ass, and the ones who died from alcohol, people and plain bad luck are too many to count.
So raise a glass to the hormones of the young, kick the Ghost in the nuts, and live like Dylan Thomas.