Wednesday, November 12, 2014

5 things you would never belive help stimulate creativy in the work place!

There are many things we all do at work which some might consider "counterproductive", "wrong", "borderline illegal", or "just plain illegal and immoral". In reality though, all things bad for you are good for you, while the inverse is also true. So here are 5 things you can do at a job which are actually good for you, and sometimes your creativity.

  1. Stretching!

    • Stretching can be good for all sorts of aliments. Done correctly, it can be a good cardiovascular workout, it can clear the mind of any stress and helps center the mind. With better focus and blood flow, the mind can flourish in a creative way. You know what else is good cardio and helps center the mind?

  2. Masturbation!

    • That's right, a date with Pamela Handerson and her five friends. I personally can't focus on work with sex on the mind, so why fight the feelings and feel embarrassed about something that is natural and we all do? Some of us may be shy about doing this deed at work, but there is a lesson that can be taken from our former presidents: if you are feeling coy about this, get an intern to help out.

  3. Stealing Office Supplies!

    • Again, why feel ashamed? It's a well know fact that if your company DOESN'T want you take things, then they should be paying you a better fee for your time. This is also a great activity for creativity. When sneaking to the closet, try imagining you're James Bond, Solid Snake, or any spy of your choosing. Practice you're speaking and manipulation skills when you are caught. It's good practice if your ever promoted and get caught in a scandal. And when you finally do get your hands on those items, are you aware of all the things you can create? Why, the Anarchist Cookbook alone has a hundred rainy day actives that can be made with items found in the office.

  4. Napping!

    • It's a tough job being a creative idea man (or idea person, whatever floats your boat). How can a person recharge their mind, without some sort of mental vacation? Dreams allow the mind to wander, it allows the mind to stretch and journey into realms unknown. It's an exploration of new, undiscovered countries, and many great men like Albert Einstein or Gottfried Wilhelm von Leibniz found inspiration in their dreams. You know who reportedly never had a dream, ever? Hitler. So put your feet back, relax, and put yourself down for a 2 hour nap.

  5. Hallucinogenic Drugs!

    • Not everyone works at a place that allows them time to sleep. We here at Aristotle's Mistake understand this, and we understand that maybe instead of a 2 hour nap, you simply consume an ounce of shrooms before work. This perfectly acceptable behavior, since psychotropic substances are simply the minds way of dreaming while awake. See the above entry for why dreaming, ergo tripping, is good for a creative mind. Maybe mandatory LSD breaks would help with moral and productivity? Maybe someone should try it.

Next time someone catches you on the job doing any of these things, simply explain to them how things like ethics or morals are simply a construct of a constrictive hierarchy designed to quash creativity and free spirit, and by freeing yourself from these imaginary bonds you reaching for a new plane of understanding. These are also great tips for anyone working from home, too, since you might find as a temporary freelancer after trying some of the things on this list.

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