Why, hello there.
It's time for the thoughts that keep us awake at night to come to surface. Enough time for them to peak out at the sun, then I can push them back for another month, where they stew and help form some of the more interesting parts of my personality. And it is hosted by some of the finest people in the blogging world.
StumbleUpon keeps showing me websites about success. A few weeks ago, I had a three day vacation that gave me time to stop and reflect on the summer. It certainly was an interesting one. I miss the interesting summers that involved being chased by cows and crazy acts of testosterone. This one had it's fair share, and now it's time for the harvest season. Being a farmer was important to who I am, so I still think of things in respect to farming.
Right about this time, we had worked our asses and hoped the weather favored us for 5 months and we could finally see things paying off. We were rewarded for our efforts with tons of food and then could sell that or eat it. Also right about this time, I would have a great body from months of exercise and sunshine with a little extra money in my pocket. Again, I had the fore-mentioned insecurities pushed back in my mind that would make enjoying this time strange and sometimes dark, but that's a different story.
Anyways, what I'm trying to say is, to hell with success. For the first time in 5 years, people look at me and say, "Why, that boy is doing well by MY standards." I reaping a ton of rewards from a summer of hard work and slight adventure. You know what is truly frightening and scary though? The idea of living a life that society deems worthy, but feeling empty and mentally exhausted while asking yourself at all times, "But what AM I doing?"
How do you define success for yourself? When you write books, or even set goals for yourself, how do you know you did well at the end of the day? I don't want to be dark here. Personally, I know I am doing well if I am having fun and trying something different and new. The person who I am changes over time, and I can see sides of my personality form and develop, and I can bring them out when the situation calls for it. I change the environment, and adapt, and watch as pieces slowly change like the path of a river after a heavy storm. When you define success for yourself, and you can honestly say that you are using the best of yourself, then it's reflected in your personality. Hell, sometimes some people are strong enough to reflect in the people around them. Others notice. When others begin to notice though, then what? Is it good, bad, other?
Just go out and enjoy the harvest season. The hard work pays off, and it's something to enjoy.