Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Stupid papers I have to read for work.

I hate you so much right now biochem. You were cute at first with your words that made you sound so smart and brilliant, but these papers I have to read run into the same damn problem every bad writer does; you aren't saying anything. These papers make the same damn conclusions over and over again. It's what we get for creating a system that values length over subject. Really, why is it a material and methods from 2013 is 5 pages longer than a one paragraph materials and methods from 1973? It's doesn't say anything amazing. Instead of just referencing the paper it cites, these damn things seem to write out the whole damn paper!
And oh my god! Auxin transport inhibitors inhibit plant hormone transportation? Really? I could have figured that out on my own, I don't need 20 fucking sentences rewording of the same sentence!
Math is interesting. Sats, contradictory to my thoughts 4 years ago, is an stimulating part of math that can be useful at times. Adding percentages and graphs that mean nothing does not help a god awful excuse for a paper. And really, you're part Chemistry! Its contributions to math are well noted! Your dependence on graphs and stats show your upbringing by biology and it's fear of math.
A discussion section is for discussion! How the project was done was covered in material methods! Stop bringing it up in the discussion section!
Honestly, this is part of the reason smart people don't get the respect they think they deserve: They are long winded, boring blowhards, too busy being wrapped up in something they think is success while ignoring the world around them. Biochem, these papers you and agro-biochem are making is that boring washed-up blowhard. Stop being so insecure that your teacher won't give you an "A", shorten your paper by 12 pages, and actually get to the fucking point. Better yet, stop repeating your point. It's the same thing, even if you put a hat on it. Or another percentage, whatever.
In conclusion, your paper stumbles around like a nervous virgin, returning to its same move that is ineffectual.

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