Thursday, July 31, 2014

99, I think I love you.

Fun post. What's that mean? No thought, all fun, just stupid shit.
Muscle shoals is awesome. And swamp rock. It's not country, it's not blues, or soul really. It's got a great sound that is unique and isn't some dumb polished by a bunch of tiny-brained fools in over- sized hats. In fact, these will be the sound track to my movie.
The scene opens in black and white. A shot of a raven in a white room, on a black chair. It leaves it perch and flies towards the camera. As it draws closer, fractals emerge in its feathers. Fractals become cities, and the scene becomes a street. In black and white, a man leaves a building with a bulldog. It's silent, and there no sounds of the city, there is no foot steps. As the man and the dog walk down the street in one continuous shot as the credits roll, slowly color comes into the world. First the dog, then the man, then the scenery. And sounds come, muffled at first, becoming louder and louder. He walks out of the alleyway and onto the sidewalk, where we are hit with a wall of sound and acid-toned colors. Like, super bright oranges and greens and blues. Bordering on neon. And now the man is in an entrance, in a super-stylized art deco decor. People fade in on one end of the hallway, walk past, then fade out of existence. A woman he vaguely recognizes stops and chats with him about the price of food.
"I got a pound of bacon for only $1.50 the other day. Usually, those bastards downtown try to steal from me." Her eyes are vacant as she speaks. "No more. It's a scam. Then everyone tries to guilt you for shopping at the box stores."
"Shopping local does help the community." Our hero replies.
"You fall for that load? Oh, John, I thought you were smarter than that. Those people, they don't give anything back. I know their kids, you know them, and I've seen them smoking behind the old factories. That's what your money is going to, not helping the community."
She keeps talking, but he's lost interest. He doesn't walk off, as much as floats while the scene changes around him. Soon he's looking at a park from behind a fence. A couple men, one with a large top hat and the other with rabbit ears made from glowsticks, are hitting a ball, and the man with the hat looks over and sees him. He motions to him to come over. John reaches down and ties up his dog, then makes his way over. "What's the game, fellas?"
"To score a run, you need to hit 5 out 7 pitches. When you run, you need to touch second, then first, then third, then from the short stop to the first base coach, then home. The run only counts if you've run 640o. Unless, of course, the diamond isn't flat, then the degrees needed is determined by the curvature of the earth. One with the most points win, or the person who has hit 71% of all pitches made."
"Don't worry, you learn while you play." Interjects the man with the glowstick rabbit ears.
"Right. For an out, the passing pattern is based on irregular polyhedron. The direction of the pass is based on the runner's position with regard to the direction of the base, and which person you pass to is determined by who through to you and the speed of the runner. The runner's speed is determined by the log of the likelihood they'll be drunk later."
"First," chimes in the glowing hare, "It's time for warm ups! To the dugout and back!"
John starts to run. He reaches the half way point, and we see that dugout is the same distance as when he started. He runs a little farther, and the dugout shrinks into the scenery. After hours of running, familiar landmarks move past him. The white house, the statue of liberty, the windmills of Denmark. He stops, when he realizes he's too far away and he has forgotten his dog. He looks to his right and sees a train station. There's a lone teller, and a sign.
<Пришло время>, морж сказал, <чтобы говорить о многих вещах>.
John turns to the teller, played by Wilford Brimley.
"How much to go home?"
As Brimley speaks, a subway train comes rushing by.  John reaches into his pocket and hands Brimley $1.44. After John boards the train, he sees the car is full. There's an empty seat next to a small woman with black hair with yellow highlights and a black coat with green spots. As he sits down, she starts to speak. John falls into a dream.
What started as a fun post and my chance to talk about music turned into some weird tribute to Lewis Carol. Can you spot the references? It took my mind off of some structural updates I'm doing to the site.

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