Small post

Finding the perfect work/life balance is the American dream, and even more of a dream if someone comes to you and diagnoses you with ADHD. I'm still getting used to it, and that's my excuse for why getting back to blogging everyday is taking some time getting used to. But here's the thing I'm finding here in Moscow: I'm not having a hard time finding the balance, just getting used to it is what is taking me some time.

Over the past 5 years, I have been able to develop the habits to be organized. This organization came from work: Today I do this, tomorrow, that, and the next day. Today I'll break my work into these categories, this paper work goes in this folder, and so on. Being able to have a life beyond work was a struggle, and I'm honestly thinking that work was stressful because there was no life outside of work on a regular basis. Nothing beyond watching TV, at least. Going back further to school, my brain let do school or have a social life, but not both.

Of course, having a work/life balance tips the other way when you don't have a job. There are still things that I can do to be productive though. Writing, programming, job hunting, and studying are all things that I can now find time to beyond just going out every night and drinking. At first, I could feel the divide still exist - My first full week, I focused on going out and seeing the city and getting dates. The productive parts feel to the side. My second full week, I was productive, but getting out stopped becoming a regular thing. I'm writing this now, because in my third full week I can say that I've been productive AND still have been able to get out. And it makes my brain feel elevated to know that.

I don't have to be out feeling guilty that I didn't get all my responsibilities done for the day, and I don't feel cooped up and crazy after spending several hours inside working on various projects. I can bask in this peaceful feeling of knowing that things are done, and are in place. Maybe my brain is a OCD brain trapped in an ADHD body, it starts to stress when things aren't in the proper place but nothing can ever be in it's proper place because ADHD doesn't let it. Maybe disorder is chaos and chaos is the cause of insanity. Maybe old granny was right and cleanliness is next to godliness. Maybe I'll never try to approach in a scientific fashion and won't try to figure out if organization makes others feel at peace.

Excitement over a peaceful feeling is a good excitement to have.