Friday, August 15, 2014

A more elegant punshiment for a civilized age

Distractions, the bane of any creative type. Are you an artist, writer, or freelance programmer? Then you've had to deal with horrible demon that is distractions. Today, I have the extreme pleasure of working next to a drill. Whenever the drill runs, it shakes the entire room and all I can do is imagine is how I will destroy the person running it. Beating them with the drill is such a basic, unimaginative fate, but think of rhythmic, meditative feeling as your arm swings and blood paints the walls. But no, again, not enough thought. Medieval and particularly catholic works did punishment the right way. Is there inspiration in Dante for how annoying distractions should be punished?

There is demon, Exercitatus, who is more of a minor minion in the moors of hell, who posses a drill penis, and uses it to sodomize neighbors who do loud constructions at inappropriate times or have loud sex next to paper thin walls. This is done in a room with piss poor acoustics where the walls vibrate, so as the poor soul is tortured, they are forced to listen to the act shake the walls. Not only do they experience the act, but the buzzing and vibration of the walls is played out as the sound track. Does it occur for infinity? Well, time is relevant in our world, so why not in hell as well? The act does not need to go on forever, it just needs to seem like it.

Most punishments for things fit in with their times, so what is a good mythical style punishment that reflects our age? A more civilized, technologically advanced age calls for punishment more fitting of our increased knowledge in science and math. Not a Sysyphus punishment with a bolder that rolls back down to the bottom. No, my suggestion is to make someone work an entry level job with high stress for one day in a Poincare Disk.  Time still moves forward, but as the end of the day approaches clocks slow down by half. The end of the day never comes, and the last hour is an eternity spent watching the clock.

Writing is such a good way to get rid of demons. Lets a bored and angry mind become creative and work out frustrations.


  1. Creativity is killed by the least little tap, tap, tap...I can't imagine working next to a drill!

    1. It seems that the drill brought a new form of creativity in me. It allowed me to focus frustration to try and think of creative tortures for annoyances.